Day 2 OPR

Good Morning Loves, I just noticed that my hits are up there, like close to 15,000 - wow - that is so cool. Thanks for following all ya'll. So, I don't have much time (what else is new?) BUT it's for a really good reason - I have a about an hour to get my "housework" done and then it is time for me to "clock in" at my second official job.....Hmmmmm you are wondering what job is this she speaks of???? MY BOOK! I have decided to spend two whole days a week when I would have normally been in classes, at my computer writing this damn book that is just itching to be written. I carry a little pad of paper with me at all times to jot shit down as it pops into my mind....I wake up at 4:27 in the morning most days just desperate to get the official business of the day under my belt so I can write. THIS STORY WANTS OUT OF MY HEAD, I figure the best way to get this done is to just devote time to it like I would my other job. I REALLY REALLY need to get my children's book published too - maybe I can get a 'two-fer' with a publishing company? Ha, I would love that. Thing is....I KNOW that this book is going to get published, I know it because I saw it in my truck that warm Christmas Eve night when he rubbed the side of my riding boots and chugged a blue moon in the static light of the parking lot - I saw it when he swallowed - his Adam's apple that A always said, "Daddy wassss that?" about - I watched it intently and had a burning in my gut like finally I knew why I was here. I thought then it was true love - now I know it is so much more. This year has been my catalyst year and I am ready to rock and fucking roll forty two - it is time to get published and write the book that will tell it all - Who will play me in the movie? Kate Winslet I think - or maybe Drew Barrymore. Ashley Judd will definitely be Mary and who would ever play BTB??? I get ahead of myself, cart before the horse girl strikes again.... But anyways, I am on day 3 of no cigarettes - Thank God. It is definitely harder this time than last, but I think it is only because I was smoking so much due to stress that without all that 'stimulant' flooding my bloodstream I am extremely tired. I have walked/run everyday - and have been taking evening strolls with the dog and the kids every night - I am getting out and getting fresh air constantly which is key to me staying motivated. Last time I quit, I took up running and developed quite a running habit - also cycling and lifting - I am so wanting to join the gym and return to my pump class - but, I don't know if it's worth the money and considering I have a free membership at the college. All in all though I am doing great - limiting shit in my system, definitely de-toxing, going to eliminate gluten and dairy again here pretty quick too. If I want this body to operate like a champ, then I need to fuel it as such, the athlete/dancer in me can't run on Marlboro's and M&M's.... In addition to those changes, I have also started ignoring my phone as soon as the kids get home. I have been devoting every moment to them, my undivided attention. It's good - they were really sick and tired of the drama in my life, really fed up to see me spinning my wheels, especially since it was all wasteful and took away from them. Crazy how a cycle can steal everyone it touches and suck you right up in to the eye of the storm - I was in a cycle too. Not good. I am out now and feeling so much better. The kids and I are also back to reading chapter books at bedtime again, although we have seen it, Brian bought the HUNGER GAMES so that Emma can get all the details lost in the movie. We read a chapter every night, I love that feeling so much, the two of them cuddled up in bed with me intently listening. I especially love when Emma does not know the meaning of a word and she asks - then I explain and do the context scenario - I love when I see understanding register in her bright blue eyes, a smile spreads across her face when she gets it. "you understand Mimz?" - "yes Momma - thank you" - Love what she and I have so much. Last night as we were walking the dog together, holding hands, we discussed being best friends - that we will always be - then she asked why Mitt Romney doesn't think women should be able to do what they want with their bodies and I had to slow and steady take her down the path of women's health issues - she asked wonderful questions and I gave thoughtful answers and in the end - we agreed that government should not interfere with a woman's right to choose anything for herself..... I cannot wait to see every single thing this child does with her life.....And of course the boys, they amaze me too, BUT let's be honest - they have penis's and that puts us at a great disadvantage - Son's and Mom's have something wonderfully unique for sure, BUT Mom's and Daughter's are wonderfully the same and that saves so much time and precious energy.....I also, feel really good about the boutique. I have gone in these past two weeks in recovery mode with the promise to put my absolute best effort in while I am there. I have completely gutted the store and Rachel and I have worked really hard on trying to pull it together and make the lines that we carry and the way they are displayed more cohesive and more appealing. I think we have rocked it hard and it looks beautiful, a lot of my regular customers are giving really positive feedback. And, my favorite customer Peggy came to see me the other day - she noticed right away I had been crying (like Four hours earlier) - I gave her the short version and she hugged me so tight, told me I am so much better than all that and we made a date to have coffee. I love my job and the amazing women I work with and the fantastic customers that become friends through the years. Love my job, really I do. Shit, now I have a half hour to get my housework done before book writing time. Damn you blog followers that need to know my business :) I hope you all have a fantastic Wednesday.