I seem to be waking up at least once in the middle of the night to pee, this could be old age or the 8,000 gallons of water I am drinking daily - at any rate, when I awake for my bathroom visit, I always check my phone to see what time it is (no alarm clock) and I crack myself up, when I sigh with disappointment that it is not yet time to get up and begin the day anew. What the hell is happening to me? I want to get up...I anticipate the morning with a fervent eagerness.
Mr.Woodpecker in the tree behind me is making use of his morning too, he is really beating the hell out of the wood - he must be putting out his mating call...
Funny,I woke up with lids that lingered on visions of past mates myself - I had Journey's 'faithfully' on loop in the brain and was remembering my old boyfriend Matt at the piano, singing to me as I sat in the window sill...What is that lyric? "And lovin a music man ain't always what's it's supposed to be, oh girl you stand my me - I'm forever yours faithfully?'
Yeah I think that's it.
Matt never sang Journey to me - he was more of a Beatles guy - our song was Golden Slumbers...I loved to watch him sing.
My English professor was discussing loving a music man just the other night in class - we were referencing a novel that we are reading, Zora Neal Hurstons "Their Eyes Were Watching God" - one of the main characters 'Tea Cake' sells his guitar so that he can buy his love Janie a present he otherwise could not afford.
My professor laughed and said "I don't know if any of you ladies have ever loved a musician, but if he sells his guitar for you...."
I thought - I have loved a few in fact - some of my best relationships were with music men - some of my most enduring friendships have been with those boys long after adult life pulled our love in different directions.
I know of one who would have sold his guitar for me, but I never would have let him, his music was the only gift I ever wanted....Ahhhh young love.
How lucky am I to have loved the music men?
Pretty freaking lucky - and really, maybe that is where I went wrong in my marital choices - I didn't marry any musicians damn it, what the hell was I thinking?
In my humanities project last year, I delivered a 'read and lead' to the class on the work of Emily Dickinson, one of my questions after reading a gazillion of her poems was - "Do you have to be a little nuts to be an artist?"
The consensus was "DUH" - yeah of course you do...
Without angst and conflict there is nothing of any interest to write about, paint about, sing about....Create about.
Yeah all of us artistic, creative whack jobs are a little tapped for sure - and I probably missed the mark by not marrying a little closer to my personality type.
Both husbands have been on the exact opposite spectrum of the emotion and communication wheel as me - They both have insinuated that I "over think" - Um yeah well I disagree, I think neither one of them think enough.
But they're inability to get me was not where I was going so....
Creative forces when joined usually have a lot to talk about, a lot to argue about even and that usually leads to a pretty active relationship - I had my fair share of those condensed into a particularly short span of time in my teenage years. I pretty much went from one to another - a guitar player to a base player to a singer and piano player...They all made me very happy.
What is super cool about this technologically advanced era, is that I have found a ton of people on Facebook who are from the days of old music and love....I am friends with both the guitar player and the singer to this very day - I love them as much as I did then, even though we are all married and have a slew of kids between us.
My base player, well I am friends with him too - he just comes to me in the form of prancing butterflies and orange sunsets, and even though I cannot look him up on Facebook, he is with me just the same, he and I are joined for eternity in a place more powerful than my computer screen...
My piano man will forever represent the music of the Beatles, Elton John, Meatloaf, Fleetwood Mac and Bread to me - "I would give everything I own just to have you back again" - we had such an awesome relationship - we really were best friends. Love that I can "like" his status updates and still hear his beautiful voice in my head after all these years :)
My guitar player is the music of U2 and the Police - although now, he is a doctor (who knew) and I gather rarely has time to pick up his instrument cause he is busy saving lives...
Crazy where time takes us.
My music men - really glad to have had them and have them still...
I love memories - I love that my memory is so expanse and full of such detail. I remember everything - I forget only that which I don't care to remember....A feminine trait I believe - I would agree with Ms. Hurston's assessment of the female memory bank.
One of my biggest fears is Alzheimer's - I would hate to lose this piece of my mind - the hippocampus (sp?) I would hate to forget and be really pissed off to lose the ability to form new memories - especially because as of late my life is about seizing and enjoying every freaking moment.
I hope I get spared the mind stealing diseases...that would for me, be a fate worse than death. Sigh, if only we had the power to decide or even to know our own fate...
But, since I am well aware that I do not, I will just revel in the here and now and then then and then - and all my remember when's...
Life has been good to me. I have had a lot of great music in my life - a lot of fantastic people...
And sorry Journey, but lovin' a music man has always been a great gig for me.
And with that - I call on another Journey song for my beloved BOSTON BRUINS - "DON'T STOP BELIEVING" and I say no more for fear of hexing us all....
I just ask all you New England fans who are my Facebook friends to give my little seven profile pic a rub for good luck...And with that I have said too much...
Peace out and grandest of days to you all xo
A music man is where it's at ;)
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