You know what just happened in my world?? My kids just left for their first day of school....What you say, already???? Yup - off they go on the big yellow bus - sigh. I now have a senior in high school, a fifth grader and my baby girl (not a baby anymore) is beginning second grade. And well Brian, he is sleeping in this morning because his college classes do not begin until the 29th - but WOW, off go my kiddies for a new year. Kinda unbelievable how fast the sands of time flow through the neck of the hour glass, it seems like the older I get the more rapidly it all passes through, and by me.
I have mixed emotions too. I am awake, the kids are gone, I have hot coffee and it's quiet YAY...But, where did our summer go? What about suntans and handstands and cannonballs???
Summer for us, is done...I always greet this time of year with a myriad of mixed feelings, they range from THANK YOU JESUS, AMEN to AWWW MAN REALLY? sniff sniff....
It is definitely not a yipee, hip hip hooray kinda day for me - In all truthfulness, I wish that Summer lasted like 3/4 of the calendar year (but you all already know this, as I have beat my summer lovin' vibe like a dead horse in previous blogs) - I just love the season with all my heart - love the sights, sounds, smells, the vibe of the hot summer moodiness - it is when I feel most myself and in tune with the world.
It's true, I have already begun thinking on my Fall wardrobe and I am bitter at the consideration - I want bare tan shoulders every day of my life and neon painted toe nails and I want to watch the dragonfly's dance and the butterfly's prance and not even think that snow exists anywhere.
Sue me.
In fact, I was at the pool on Sunday sitting in my chair deep end poolside, reading Toni Morrison and listening to my IPOD (an amazing version of #41 that lasts like a half hour) and the coolest thing happened (and here I show my total dorkiness) a dragonfly began to fly a pattern around the pool - well, maybe I noticed the pattern and it had always flown that way - at any rate, I followed it intently curious as to why it continually flew the same route, dipping low by my head, flying upwards by the diving board over to the fence and back down and around in a counter clockwise figure 8 pattern. It did it, over and over and over and over.
I was mesmerized by the movement and enthralled with considerations as to why? Why was it doing this, what does this mean in dragonfly world - this behavior signifies what exactly?
(I think this way a lot btw, I am on world sensory overload 24/7 - my surroundings astound me)
Then...the music in my ears seemed to accompany the dragonfly in his/her flight and I considered that maybe it was dancing. After all there was a very definite rhythm to the movements, it flowed and was predictable a flap flap glide to it's wings that seemed more graceful than what I had ever noticed in the past as a dragonfly whipped by my head, this one was fluttering and tilting into the wind in an enticing dance. I got excited because I am a geek, and smiled a lot as I began to predict what it would do next, beginning to feel and learn the dance myself. Then, I took off my earphones and listened to the music it was hearing....And there was music for certain - kids splashing, kids laughing, other bugs buzzing, the birds singing, the flip flops slapping the pool deck.
Yes the dragonfly was dancing, enjoying itself profoundly and showing off.
And then....A second dragonfly appeared over the top of the pool house and dipped in for a tango moment or a samba or whatever they call dances in their world, and I wanted to cry a little because it looked like they were falling in love with each other - if not love, at the very least, full on appreciation. The second dragonfly showed up for a bit to join in and get it's groove on too.
I became a bug watcher for about an hour of that particular day - sigh, I watched the bugs...
I will miss the freedom to appreciate my magical surroundings once my hectic lifestyle really kicks in and it is back to school for me too.
It's not just the tan and the white bikini that makes me giggle when I see my naked reflection in the mirror, it's not the easy tousled curls I wear while my flat iron gets a much needed summer reprieve, it's not the cool blue pool the splashing of my silly fish/kids - it's the freedom to watch it all and be it all, appreciate it all that I will miss during the stupid Winter months.
I better stock up on the Vitamin D sooner rather than later too, ugh.
And so, I sit here typing, thinking about the day and new beginnings, wanting what I had Sunday to last forever...
Mixed emotions for certain.
This will be a BIG year for me, no doubt. In two short months, I turn 41....My magic number, I am so excited for this birthday and year, I can hardly stand it. Call me crazy, but I have been listening to Dave croon about it for so many years that I am convinced my forty first year is the year amazing things will happen for me. I will get my first degree this year and transfer to a University to continue my quest for knowledge and pretty paper. I WILL finish my book come hell or high water, God willing and the creek don't rise and drown me....I will do everything this year with a fervor for life that is unparalleled, I plan on being better at absolutely everything this year, especially at being ME.
So, I am excited in some sense to get the show on the road, but sad to see summer 2011 come to a close for sure.
No doubt.
One great thing....I have tickets to see Dave and Tim on August 20th....The first acoustic show in CVILLE since like 1995 or some shit - this show should be nothing short of fantastically epic - I am beyond excited.
A good way to bid August and my beloved Summer adieu, if we have to say goodbye, which inevitably, we do....
I love you Summer. I love everything about you.
I will miss you terribly and pop Vitamin D like a drug addict until you return.
I have 20 days until classes start, so I guess let the summer detox begin...
How fitting that the sun isn't anywhere to be seen in the gray ass sky this morning?
If it comes out, I am going to the pool with Toni Morrison and Dave Matthews and relishing every second of ticking time.
If you have kiddos who began their school year today - do you feel me????
Good thing is - summer will come again, just like the big yellow bus.
Have a blessed day - peace, love and dragonfly's....
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