talkin bout my girl...

Hey hey hey,
So I just pulled myself out of bed - I could have stayed there all damn day - I am tapped.
This is where I feel my age - exhaustion.
I have stamina stores for when I need to perform, but once the performance level lowers, man do I feel the pain.
I feel like I have been run over by a truck, every inch of me is screaming for a vacation on a beach and a bed with cool cotton sheets.
How I wish that were in the cards.
Just now when I finally woke up and talked myself into facing this wreck of a house (mind you I am on the computer) I found my phone blinking with two text messages from my surrogate Mother - best friend - soul mate - hetero sexual wife - Mary...
She had just read my blog from last night while driving in her car and simultaneously tearing up - ROAD HAZARD.
She was beaning with pride as only a best friend does.
She is my champion of all champions.
You all probably feel like you know her on some level as she is the always present in my daily musings - she is in essence a very real part of me.
I do not know how I ever got so lucky as to have her for my partner in crime and my partner in life - whatever karma stores I had from my last go round were certainly used appropriately by getting her this for this crazy spin.
I can honestly say that I would cease to exist without her - there would have been a bottle of pills at some point equalling game over for me, had she not incessantly told me that I was worthy and deserving of a better life.
Nuts how one person can have so much power.
Thing is, my family life as a kid was a bit of a wreck, although I had Nana and Papa (Thank God) I did not ever know my biological Father and my Mother and I were as different as Night and Day.
Growing up with any kind of self worth when your Mom doesn't seem to like you makes for a difficult existence to say the least.
I came in to adulthood kinda lost and feeling like I would never be found and understood by anyone.
Then this family moved into the duplex next to me on good old Yeaton Street and my life was forever changed.
Mary rolled up her sleeves and got to work - she has been at it for almost eighteen long years now - it has taken her all of those years to birth the new and improved me.
And trust me, for her, I have no doubt this labor of love has been just that - a labor and similar in so many ways to birthing me. She has endured the pain of so much pushing -I know sometimes she gets really really tired (thanks Mirm) - talk about stamina.
When I do well on an exam - I call her like the rest of you college kids who call home to tell your Mom's.
I call her first with any tragedy or miracle - she is my go to girl.
What really rocks about this friendship is that through her I have also gained another family...
Her husband Shawn in also a best friend - her kids Colby and Cameron are loves of my life alike my own offspring and her Mother, her wonderful, hysterically funny Mother Karen is like my own Mother too. I have gone from Motherless child to a full family who counts me as one of their own and will never ever abandon me -
Finally, phew...
There is this magical place that is part of the package too, Mary's Grandmothers house in Prospect Harbor Maine, the most perfect slice of heaven out there.
The beauty that lives in that slice of serenity has little to do with the landscape although it is breathtaking - it has so much more to do with the atmosphere.
When you are there, you can hear the laughter of previous events, previous days, previous happiness in the breezes that blow - all the conversations of the past come alive again and you are able somehow to be a part of it all - it is a place where you become laced with the past, present and future and you feel your own life is an integral part to it's magic. would really love to be drinking this cup of coffee on that deck right about now...
How lucky am I?
I am so damn lucky that it reaches a level of utter ridiculousness - I really am one lucky girl.
Another spectacularly wonderful thing about this friendship, one of the things that has most definitely changed my perspective about myself, is that Mary counts herself as lucky to have me.
Her being my champion is like carving and buffing the diamond out of the rough. She thinks I am amazing and because of that feeling, she also counts on me...
We have grown as human beings because of each other - all the work has paid off in a safe place where truth is always okay - for us both.
What we have is nothing short of miraculous.
I remember when I sat at Leroi Moore's funeral watching my idol ring his hands behind his back with sadness and anxiety - he said that one of the greatest things about their friendship was that he got to be a part of Leroi's personal battle to love himself - I thought in that moment Mary is my Dave and I am her Leroi - Heaven or hell I'm going there with you.
Life would be boring without messes to stain dresses and my girl has is permanently colored with the stains of mine...She has an efficient stain remover in her corner and she doesn't put him to work at removing not one...
I have said over and over - it is the caliber of character in the those who love you that is important - numbers hold no candle to caliber.
I have the highest of caliber to call my best friend and for that, I am eternally grateful to fate.
Mirm - truth is, I am proudest that you are proud of me.
You who knows what I am really made of, cries for all your pride.
I love you more than I ever thought was possible to love someone who didn't exit my own body.
B is for beautiful messes with best my best friend.
And with that, off to sort through the shit of messes less beautiful than this.
Off to the piles of laundry.
I hope you all have a blessed day and if you have a BFF like Mary - why not call her today and say I love you?
Peace out homies