So this morning as I attempted to de-frizz my mop top whilst standing in the humidity of the bathroom, I heard the front door close and realized that my kids were heading off to school without kisses. I began to yell "HEY HEYYYYYY" so that they would turn their little tails around and complete the morning ritual, to no avail- closed windows, ugh. As I sped towards the front door clad in nothing but my towel, I swung it open fiercely and almost fell right over Mimzy who had Not in fact heard me yelling, BUT she herself had realized that our puckers had not pressed together, she was coming back of her own accord to smooch it up with her Mommy. Phew...
I was blown away by the magnitude of the kiss I received, Holy Cow, my girl can kiss. Now maybe it is just that she has my full lips and so when they meet it's like yin - yang or like puzzle pieces fitting together, but personally I think my girl has just got some mad kissing skills.
Which leads me to the broader topic...
Kissing...
Is this an either you got it or you don't thing or can it be learned like any skill, fine tuned and tweaked to perfection? But wait, should kissing really need to be worked at???
I don't know, I just do not have the answer.
I will say that kissing is really important to me and honestly throughout the course of my life, with the exception of few, I have felt unbelievably let down by lips pressing against mine.
Now my Grandfather - he could kiss. He would vacuum suck my entire face off when I was a kid and yes, I admit it, I liked it. It's true that I would need a towel to mop off the excess saliva left on my face after he greeted me and it's also true that sometimes I hesitated going in for the kill, but despite the wide mouthed bass nature of my Papa's lips, what made his kisses the bomb were that he would grab hold of my little face and pull me in like he meant it. When he gave me kisses, I knew I was his little Pumpkin and I knew that I was loved because I FELT it. I loved his kisses so much that I even spoke about them in his eulogy - Oh Papa how I miss you...
When Mimz and I kiss it is the same way, BAM lightening bolt straight to my heart, I love this kid and reciprocity, she loves me back.
Our kisses communicate, they speak the language that kisses should speak,our kisses say what we are feeling.
The one this morning, in my towel on the porch said "My day would have sucked so bad had this not happened" - I felt it - she felt it- lippers against mine = relief for us both, normalcy, routine, permission to advance through the remaining day.
In addition to Papa and the Mimz, I would say my Nan is also a great smoocher, she's got game too.
Now to the really, really, sad and depressing part - the romantic kiss...
In my mind, and please tell me if I am wrong, the romantic kiss should leave you feeling lightheaded and dizzy every time - not recoiling in horror whilst simultaneously choking on a tongue.
I realize that there are aggressive women kissers who get into all that tonsil hockey shit, but I say, yeah no, not me, no thanks...
When lovers Kiss it should communicate, I am so unbelievably hot for you, NOT - I am trying to kill you by way of the Anaconda in my mouth.
A lover's kiss should say, I want you so bad I'm in physical pain with yearning, NOT -
let me cause you physical pain by breaking off your front tooth by smashing into it with mine.
Romantic kisses should speak the language of love.
Now again, I acknowledge, different strokes for different folks - maybe you like to be gagged and who am I to say "yuck" to your "yeah" - maybe if you are a man and reading this, you should consult with your lady before changing your style based on my suggestions...
At any rate here they are, take it or gag on it, your choice...
Lips are soft, let them press gently.
Let them move by way of the emotion leading up to the kiss.
Open your mouth, feel the warmth, don't however climb in to it with your whole body.
Touch other places too, a hand on a face says, I so want to be here.
Run some fingers through, even grab a little hair - loosely. (this is PG 13 people please)
Have the tongues say hello but don't have them tie in a knot or twist about uncontrollably.
Breathe while you kiss, nothing says yowza more than a little exhaled moan.
Let her lead, dance the same dance - don't dougie when she is doing the tango.
And finally, say what you mean with your mouth using absolutely no words.
A bazillion years ago at a New Years Eve party, a very intoxicated me took full advantage of the one night a year it is customary to kiss a lot of people,
It went like this -
Snowy Winter night, huge NorEaster - walls of snow. About two am, clubs had closed and everyone was gathering in the woods at a house of someone I did not know. Kimmie and I walked (stumbled) down the long driveway together, trying not to fall on the sheets of ice thicker than a rink. People were everywhere in hardcore party mode, loud music thumping from the house, continuous laughter, FUN FUN FUN all around us. Kim stopped to talk to someone and I saw a mutual friend coming, a good male friend, he was in a crowd moving up the path. The excited Happy New Year wishes began to exchange between us all, and then it happened....
"Heyyyyyyy Happy Newwww Yearrr" I smiled big and wrapped my arms about his neck to give him a hug,
he said "where's my kiss" and I shrugged, well what was one more? - so in I went.
HOLY HELL....
That boy pressed his big sweet smile right on top of mine and proceeded to kiss me so deeply,so sweetly and so slowly, my cheeks flooded with heat as did the rest of me and I fell limp right there in his familiar arms. When it finally ended and we drew apart, our smiles were even bigger than when we began. I remember thinking, as he was pulled him away from me, lingering on his smile as he continued to find my eyes despite the yanking, I thought aloud, DAMNNNNNNNN.
For a second I thought I had dreamed it, that was until I saw the sparkle in my eye glint off a snow bank....
The kiss said, "I have wanted to do that to you for so long"...
I have never forgotten that kiss and have been hard pressed to find a repeat in the years following...
Kisses are so intimate, faces meeting in the motion of love....
Ahhhh.... and so, I guess my point is this - make your kisses talk.
Make your kisses really communicate, and please if you happen to kiss me, please don't let it say, wow your trachea tastes good...
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