For me, well...yes blessed for sure I am here to write another blog so that surely counts for something - HOWEVER - man what a devastating loss last night for my beloved Boston Bruins. Talk about sudden death GEEZ, what like 22 seconds into the OT period? Ouch it hurt. Like I said in my last blog (I think I said it at least)- this is the way it goes for we die hard Boston sports team fans....They certainly like to keep us on the roller coaster of emotions, right on the brink of a free fall at all times.
It is what Boston Sports are all about - elitist and dominating - but unpredictable and always a little heart breaking.
Like life really....yeah Boston teams are like life. SIGH.
And so I gear up for game 3 and hope those Mother#$*+ers get their hearts back in the game.
They gotta fight in game three like I did to get to college - they gotta want it more than anything. C'mon guys it's the Stanley Cup Playoffs already...
Enough said before my blood pressure rises again.
This morning I am up with the sun/thunderstorms to get my tennis on - the French Open at 9:00 AM. Man do I love tennis too. Nadal and Federer is a guaranteed morning of grunts and surprises - man to be that athletic sigh...
This morning when I got a Mimzy elbow to the jaw (my alarm clock and at least half the reason I spend my life stiff as a board) I decided 7:30 on a Sunday morning is a fine time to rise - Screw it, why not?
I feel energetic this week to say the least - perhaps it is my over active thyroid gland making me feel like a crack head, but I prefer to believe it is the diet I am on, the diet I started Monday and so far, have effortlessly coasted through with little discomfort.
I gave up gluten and dairy.... WOW right, what is there to eat you wonder?
A lot of fruit, veggies and meat.
Funny how when you eliminate specific foods purposefully, you are able to see just how much eating comes from boredom and emotion.
This weekend at work I only ate when my stomach said grumble grumble and my brain said slightly foggy Deb - usually I eat constantly at work to cope with both my stress and especially on dead days, the arduous boredom.
I have lost several pounds this week and feel lighter in my gut region - not skinnier mind you - lighter.
The bloating and the cramping previously associated with meal time has all but vanished....
Do I have an "allergy"? I don't think so - is all that floury shit and heavy dairy gross? YES. DELICIOUS, but not so good for you.
I will admit, I miss cheese and yogurt and I have missed my wheat toast with peanut butter - I have learned to love a rice cake with natural peanut butter in it's place. I miss the bread, but not the uncomfortable feeling of stomach bloat....
Gotta make some trade offs in life - can't bitch if you yourself are the culprit.
Well I mean you can, but it certainly won't change a thing now will it?
I have been keeping a food journal of everything I eat so that I can hone in on what it is specifically that is causing my tummy discomfort and although I am literally only keeping track of food and not associated emotions - I do feel better emotionally too.
No ups and downs associated with the carb spikes and dips. That shit was doing a number on my moods at the end of semester - me and the junk food were in a battle for the happy me I usually am. A reeses peanut cup is so good going down, but talk to me in two hours when I have fallen off the sugar high and want to kill someone or myself.
BAD FOOD = CYCLICAL BITCH
Now....Now... If only I could get my ass back in the gym. How to do this? Oh how to do this?
I laugh at myself regularly while also wanting to punch myself in my own face - what the hell did I do to myself by discontinuing my running and PUMP? I was on endorphin cloud 9 back in the day, a lean muscle machine who could have not only outrun an attacker but given him a fight for his life if somehow he did catch me...
I was a certifiable bad ass.... insert major pout and self hatred here.
I went to college is what happened and it was either Ms. Universe or Mommy time that was gonna have to give....
Can't stop being a MOM now can I???
This entire two year period that I have been a student I have KNOWN that working out would be my very best weapon in not going under in the continually mounting heaps of stress - working out cures all shit that ails me - but there has just not been any time...literally.
I don't know that people get how truly maxed out I am in the minutes department - It's insane how over scheduled I am, truly.
What I need to do in this upcoming week is TRY to adjust my sleep schedule so that I can find the time to get up super early and re-integrate the gym into my life. If I do it this summer while I have down time (yeah right)then maybe come August when I go back to full time student status I will NEED the gym daily like I used to, maybe it will re-become a necessary part of my life again (please God)
And what to do about the cigarettes? The cigarettes that I give up for months even years and then find my way seduced back into their nasty ugly habit....
Mary told me years ago, me smoking is like putting a cigarette out in the middle of a rose.....sigh.
She's right and I hate it.
But man do they satiate my oral fixation - it is the only time my stupid tongue isn't running it's sore little tip off the side of my Dracula tooth.
Excuses Excuses Deborah....
And a question, why the hell does everything that tastes and feels so good have to be so extremely bad for you?
That seems totally unfair to me, like totally.
I mean everything may be a stretch, but a lot of things...
Makes for a life long battle to eliminate habitual badness, ugh.
I type as I sit on my front porch watching the sun do battle with the clouds....C'mon sun I need you today...I need the pool and a lounge chair and my English books and some focus time. If the sun loses, I am doomed to indoors on my day off and homework at my Kitchen table - not a fan of that scenario in June. June is synonymous with pool....
Unfortunately I can't always get what I need it seems, even from myself - why would I expect Mother Nature to be any different?
And so, on that note it is time for some tennis - tennis anyone?
Have a great relaxing wonderful day :)
Peace out.
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