Jello and a nail...

This is gonna have to be a quickie as my life has been turned upside down this lovely Friday morning by my not so lovely teenage son. Grrrrrr.
I know somewhere in Boston, my Mother is smiling, thinking that I am finally getting mine - payback's a bitch daughter - Ha this is for all the hell you caused me.
Yeah Yeah Ma....
At any rate - raising teenagers sucks.
No doubt.
I was no picnic for sure - I will never deny that I gave my Mother a hard ass time.
I was more of a turbulent teenager than a troublesome one though, in my defense.
My Mother and I had a very rocky relationship and that began early on, way before I was introduced to Bartles and James or to Mary Jane - our issues started when I was a wee little lass and continue to this day... Go figure.
I blame a lot of what went on in my head and heart on not having a Dad, having a positive male role model in a child's life is imperative.
Although my step Dad entered the picture when I was ten, it was far too late for him to salvage the wreckage that my Mother and I had become.
He was a great influence on me for sure, a positive example from the word go, but he was more like a band-aid on my teenage wounds and I was capable of ripping that wound protector clean off in times of great self destruction.
Like I have said many times previous in this blog - I wouldn't change a thing about any of it for surely I wouldn't be who I know am - but man my teenage years were nothing less than a train wreck.
Maybe I am getting payback? Maybe it is just the cyclical way of life - I chose men very much like my Mother to marry and hence problematic male role models for my older sons.
I have a magnet at work that says 'raising teenagers is like trying to nail jello to a tree' - I couldn't have said it better myself.
So what do you do when you have a party animal on your hands that listens to Mac Miller who raps that youth is all about having a good time?
Do you lock the doors behind them? Do you put their shit in trash bags on the front lawn? Yell and scream?
I don't have the answer....
Mostly what I do is pray in my head that he doesn't pay a fatal price for his good times.
Don't get in the car with someone who is drinking.....Don't take that little pill that everyone says will be the best trip ever. Don't do too much of any good thing, cause that always turns bad at some point...
Please God keep him safe and get him beyond this moronic, self centered stage of his life....
Please get him to a place where he realizes that character is of the utmost...Please let him figure out that is he thinks summer in Fluvanna is fun, he should really try a semester away in a different state at COLLEGE...
ugh.
Whatever happens with my kids, I pray that we get through it fairly unscathed.
I am not stupid enough to ever imagine that this would be easy - and sons, oh my sons, they think they are invincible.
At least when I was a kid I was aware my demise was around every corner and I behaved somewhat accordingly - I made it after all - here all these years later.
But barely, had a lot of near misses and a lot of close calls and my upbringing was in the heart of one of the countries biggest and most active cities.
What's worse, a drunk ride on the T at 2AM with a bunch of friends or a dark, not lit, winding country road? I think he'd be better off in the city unfortunately, at least public transportation is always available and the streets are well lit...
Sometimes I think the "rural" lifestyle is more dangerous for kids - not as much to "do" but sit around and drink - and if they are stupid enough to try to go out and about, they are bound to do it in a vehicle....
I wish that teenagers had the first clue that it can happen to them - they are not exempt. And I wish that the trees out here weren't littered with floral wreaths marking the many accidents that have already claimed too many Fluvanna kids...
Makes for an acid stomach, even without the dairy and gluten.
I wish that teenagers knew how they stress their parents - what the worry and fear feels like as you watch the clock and the door doesn't open...Or you open the door to their bedroom in the morning and their bed is empty.
I wish they got it, but they probably won't until they are sitting on their deck one day blogging about jello and trees and acid gut themselves.
It takes time to grow and a lot of mistakes to learn. I get that, really I do.
Especially for kids who have had it not so easy - that would be my kids unfortunately...
I will say that they have always had me - and although right now where my seventeen year old is concerned that appears to have made little positive difference, my twenty year old assures me that is has....He tells me all the time he doesn't know where he'd be without me.
Thanks Bri.
I know, no matter what, I will continue to be here come whatever may.
I will not abandon the nest. Will not ever not forgive and attempt to forget.
Will never not pick them back up, clean them off and try to right their stance.
I am a Mother and my kids are my number one, even when I want to kill them with my own bare hands - like I do now...
Not really, but kinda.
If you have a teenager, you probably know what I mean.
He is supposed to be here today to watch his little brother and sister while I go to work and make money to buy endless groceries that keep them well nourished.
He is absent, not present, not accounted for and so hmmmm - Thank God for Laura who will take my kiddos today and save my life....
Kevin's life is another story however.
Raising him in the last few months has been unpredictable and requires fast thinking on my feet.
I far prefer the terrible two's to say the least...
And when did it become illegal to duct tape your kids to a wall, cause right about now, that and some shackles sound like a really good idea to me????
Yes Mother I get it - PAYBACK IS A BITCH called A TEENAGER.
I hope you all have a wonderful day and is you have little ones in your house, I would start stock piling the Valium now.
Peace out - have a blessed day, and Kevin if you are reading this I am one worried Mother :(