Why oh WHYYYYY???

I am pissed off today, really and truly pissed off. I think I have a touch of the ovulatory rage and that certainly may be exacerbating my hyper aggressive pissed offedness - Grrrrr I am mad as hell.
If you are my facebook friend you already know (if you read my status) that I am sick with what I fear is some strain of the stupid flu. Are we still afraid of the swine and the bird, what is the status of those animals?
Whatev.
Normally, me feeling like shit wouldn't be that big of a deal, honestly I am usually sick to some degree with some stupid ailment, as we have previously blog discussed, four kids bring a wealth of germs to my doorknobs. This illness however is somewhat reminiscent of last years strep incident. Oh God, that was awful, I writhed in pain from the horrific body aches and took up shop on my bathroom floor with my face plastered to the cool toilet seat, a welcome reprieve to the hundred and three degree fever that gripped my body for daysssss. Oh my it was something else, I truly believed I was dying. Although Dan and I were living in seperate houses, the alone-ness I felt was made worse by the fact that he was also on a business trip in PA. and so I was trapped here with my needy kids who don't quite get that Mommy is really too sick to make dinner. Thankfully Kevin stepped up to the plate and fed them the standard blue box go-to and my dear sweet Dancam came with a massive bag of supplies for my survival. God love her, she even bought me sugar free popsicles because that was back in the day when I actually watched my weight....haha.
This stupid sickness is coming in a close second to the strep, BUT under far worse personal circumstances and hence my piss ball attitude. I am supposed to read my winning essay tomorrow at 12:20.....I am supposed to accept my certificate and my prize money.... BUT I am tooooo sick to get out of bed!
I want to throw a massive tantrum right now, but I have no energy to kick and scream. You know I am really sick when I can't muster up the energy to throw a fit. In my head on continuous loop, I have CeLo Green's hit song 'fuck you' but only the ending where he asks the question I am asking ... WHHHHYYYYYY WHHHHYYYYYY WHHYYYYYYYYYYYYY??????? Do you know what I mean? If you don't, listen to it and get a visual going of me. Pale, slightly green, flannel grandma style nightgown, messy sweaty medussa like hair pulled back from hideous face, pouting and sneezing in bed - moaning when I have the energy....
WHYYYYYYYYYYYY???
Here's the thing.... the subject matter for the essay was, 'write about someone who has had a positive effect on your life'. I wrote about Omar, a past boyfriend/best friend who died when I was eighteen. I wrote it with every intention of reading it proudly to his Mother, WHEN I WON. The day I won, I found out she died the previous morning....Oh my God, isn't that enough???? Now I have to be sick and can't even go. Grrrrrrrrr pissssssssy.
And with that I am going to quit my bitching and close the box. My head is getting too heavy to hold up and I'm afraid it may smash into my computer screen, shattering it for a third time in 12 months.
I surmise, I was a real douche in my past life and I think it's unfair that she/he doesn't have to pay the piper, I do. Stupid past life. Ugh.