jasmine in my mind.

Yesterday as I sat in Biology wanting to slit my wrists over poly peptide chains and my inability to give a shit,
my phone buzzed in my lap and indicated someone cared enough to save me...I looked, expecting it to be Bob, to find,
that it was my wife.
The rescue squad - the island of reality in an ocean of amino acids, polypeptides and diarrhea....
The text read "You're the woman I love"
Without skipping a beat because why would I,I typed in the folds of my too short sundress,
"You're the only one that can love me back to her"
For those of you who are not Jason Mraz inclined - you will completely miss the beauty in that exchange and the fact that it took about two seconds flat to occur.
Jason Mraz's new song is about a relationship - a man who will love the woman in his life back to the woman he loves when she has lost her damn mind and decided she might hate herself, finds herself her own worst enemy....
That is my Mary, the one who can love me back to the woman she loves...
And.... she loves me.
Like no one ever has.
And....the thing about that, - it is a reciprocal respect and equal need that brings us there.
I may be the beautiful mess, but without my mess she would have no one to pick up shards of glass with.
We do what we do and it is like nothing I will ever do with anyone else - and that is amazing, unbelievable, an honor bestowed that hangs a shooting star on my chest....
I am missing my wife, missing my home, the place of lush gardens, moments stolen under the apple tree, the cool blue calm, the raging seas against the machine of society lost to true importance, the birds who love their chicks and sqwak to each other about babysitting the nest and fishing dates in the early dawn, the slick of the rained on green deck, the taste of salt air mixed with tequila and too many marlboro methols, the constant complaints of stomachs stuffed beyond gluttony to plain ridiculousness, foul language that would make truckers see beautiful-smart women in a whole new light, the repetitive requests and laughter of the luckiest most real children in the world,the sun room where we go to die of too much goodness on love seats that warp a body into it's natural state,the place I long for - Prospect Harbor, all the way at the end of the world.
I just realized the other day that at the end of that song Dave says something about cutting through the reeds - really? Really Dave?
I am going there in June, going to spend like ten days in heaven and although I want the days in between (very much so) - I kinda wish it was now....
I am anxious to get on with it already - need an early misted run to the lighthouse so I can stretch by the big rocks while I gaze across the water at perspective I only gain while running or smiling for a photo.
I need that perspective like I need air.
I miss my air with my feet on the ground and I miss the air in her brown green yellow eyes.
There will never ever be enough days to this life or this love story.
Miss you wifey, miss comin' home to you on a summer breeze.